Watching Krusada on ABS CBN. Ugh, it breaks my heart to see these lolas, the weak and sick lolas suffer in behind bars :-( dude! IT IS FINISHED. Christ died for our sins ONCE AND FOR ALL. Bakit pa nila pinagbabayaran ginawa nila? Diba dapat nirerehab and share-an ng gospel then disciple ang mga “criminals” kahit over a period of time? O.o eh kasi yung “pagpatay” or “pagnakaw” nila equivalent lang sa any sin naten like lying eh. Pati thoughts na di pure :-( ‘cause bottom line is: sin is sin. Hm, but WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS CHRIST LOVED US :-)

Hi Friends ;) So first of all, I honestly don’t know where to start and how to start. :D I’m still in the process of organizing my thoughts. Basically, hindi ako writer :)) so.. ayon. Please bear with this thing =)) Pero ito! Sinusulat ko ito kasi gusto ko mabasa mo :) Gusto ko ishare sayo. As in!! Bongga. :) Kaya please? ;) Please? Pakibasa, ha? :)) Lam ko nakakatamad. Pero basahin mo parin. Minsan lang naman ako magfeeling writer eh. :P Pero ito talaga. Kelangan mo mabasa :D 

A while ago, we attended the 7 last words at CBL :) What was taught/ preached there a while ago was basically something that we “know”. That Christ died for our sins, He saved us and all the other details. But! Have we really reflected on what that thing actually meant?

(I’m not proclaiming/ saying na yung sinabi ko dito is yung whole thing na. Just wanna share some things that God has struck me with)

Alam nateng lahat na bumaba si Hesus sa lupa upang maging tagapagligtas naten. Prophecy ito mula sa OLD TESTAMENT :’) na tinotoo niya sa new. Doon pa lang, pinakita ang pagka Diyos Niya at ng Ama. Iba ang plano nila. Alam niyo ba? Nakalagay din doon na dadating siya, pagpapapako sa krus at pati na rin yung paghingi niya ng inumin habang siya’y nakapako ay nakasulat sa Awit 69 :) Wala lang, ang galing eh! Sobraaaaa!! Any, ito yun. Isipin mo nga.. Bumaba siya dito sa lupa. Hm, hindi basta basta yun :) Iniwan niya yung MAGARANG BUHAY niya sa langit. Dude! He basically has it ALL. Pero bumaba siya. Para saan? Para sa NILIKHA niya. Bakit? Eh kasi nagwawalang hiya yung nilikha niya eh. Kailangan niyang LUMAYO SA KANYANG AMA. Maging sanggol. Mag katawang tao. ‘Tol, hindi ‘yon ganung kadali ‘no! Prinsipe, okay? Tas biglang magkakatawang tao. ‘Di lang ganung kasimple ‘yon. Nasaktan din siya, PHYSICALLY. Nadapa din like us. Nagutom din gaya naten. Nainitan. Tinemp. Pero ito ah! Never siya nagpatemp. He stood still!! He remained pure!! Why? Because He has the prophecy to fulfill. The prophecy na hindi lang basta basta. Yun ay yung magligtas sa sanlibutan. Iligtas ako, iligtas ikaw.

Bakit sa lahat ng pwedeng pagpatay sakanya, ba’t sa Krus pa? Nung panahon na ‘yon kasi.. Ang pagpapako sa Krus ay katumbas ng electric chair at little injection sa panahon ngayon. Ang pagpapapako sa Krus, ginagawa yun sa tao na may pinaka mabigat na kasalanan sa lahat!! Major major sin, uhhuh! Hm, ‘di lang ‘yon ah! He was crowned with thorns! hinampas hampas niya sa likod. Yung part na ‘yon, di naman yun pinag daanan nung 2 criminal na kasama niya diba? Siya lang. Siya lang yung nung inangat sa Krus, dugo dugo na. ‘Tas di lang yon. Kinutsaan pa siya. Heehee. Grabe ‘no? :) And lahat ng yun? Para sa kasalanan naten. Kasalanan mo, kasalanan ko. Past, present and future, check na check with red pentel pen pa :) Sabi pa nga niya eh.. Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” Yung inask niya na iforgive, hindi lang yung mga tao na kinukutsa siya. Tayo din, ‘dre! :) Pero ito Pare! :) Pinaka woah sa lahat. Lamo ba? NAPUNIT ANG CURTAIN WHEN HE DIED. Yung super kapal sa curtain sa tabernacle. What does that mean? Hm, kasi dati, kaya may division dun.. High priest lang kasi nakakapunta dun para ikumpisal mga kasalanan naten. Lamo yun? Dati, kelangan naten dumaan sa mga pari para lang magkumpisal. Hm, ngayon.. anong connect ng pagkapunit ng napaka kapal na kurtina doon from top to bottom? Dude. It simply signifies na dahil sa ginawa ng Panginoon.. Hindi lang tayo napatawad. Dahil sa ginawa niya. MAY RELASYON NA TAYO SA PANGINOON. :) I mean, may 100% chance tayo para magkaroon ng relasyon sa Panginoon. Paano? Bakit? Eh kasi.. sa pagkapunit ng curtain na ‘yon.. Hindi na naten kelangan dumaan sa mga Pari. Pwede na tayong MAG PRAY DIRECTLY kay God! Alam mo yun? Father- Daughter relationship? :’) Pwede mo siya kausapin directly. At pinaka bongga pa dun. Pag nagkasala tayo sa kanya, pwede tayo lumuhod  DIRETSO SA KANYA. Sabihin sakanya lahat ng kasalanan naten. And kung nagsisisi tayo, papatawarin niya tayo. All we need is yung totoo at bonggang repentance :) Hm ito pa! :) Dahil relasyon ang kelangan naten.. at dahil relasyon ito with the Panginoon.. we can be assured na we will have ETERNAL LIFE. Hm, Eternal life where? ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN! In the paradise where our Creator and Savior is. :) Ano ba proof nito? Well the simplest verse is John 3:16 “For God SO LOVED the world, that He gave His one and only Son. THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHALL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE” :) Yung perish jan, it eternal condemnation. Yung buhay sa hell. ‘Yon. Pero dahil si God.. ang buhay na Diyos ang naghahari sa langit, malamang diba alam niya paano tayo makapunta and makapasok dun.. and yan na ang sagot mga ‘Dre :) We just need to believe. And by believing.. Magtitiwala tayo na siya lamang ang kaisa isang pwedeng magligtas sa atin. ‘Tas siya magiging hari ng ating puso :’) Magiging Diyos naten siya. Ama!! :) Anak niya tayo.. Once na tinanggap naten siya sa puso naten, hindi naman ibig sabihin nun, change of religion eh. Sus! :D Hindi naliligtas ang tao sa relihiyon, oy! :) Nasa puso yan. ;) Si Jesus ba talaga laman niya? Siya ba Diyos mo? When you say Diyos/ Lord/ God.. Lahat ng bagay.. naka entrust sa kanya. Lahat ng bagay kinokunsulta naten siya. Siya yung nasusunod. HINDI TAYO.. yung tipong gagawin naten ito kasi “trip” or whatev? :) Hm, that’s not it. It’s like, surrendering EVERYTHING to God :) And itooo pinaka bongga sa lahat! Diba sabi nila dapat para makapasok ka langit dapat gawin mo ito, yan.. magpaka banal, angel, etc. SUS! Hindi yun’ te :) Sabi nga niya sa Ephesians 2: 8-9 For it is by GRACE we have been saved. Through Faith — and this IS NOT FROM YOURSELVES it is the GIFT of God so that NO ONE CAN BOAST” :) Ayan. Anong sabi ng verse. Maliligtas tayo dahil sa regalo ni Jesus! Hm, regalo so dapat TANGGAPIN naten. Kasi hindi naman ‘yon mapapa saatin kung di naten tatanggapin diba? Regalo na ginawa niya sa Krus. It is GRACE! Something that we don’t deserve.. pero binibigay niya saatin dahil sa binggang pagmamahal niya. hindi yan dahil sa atin! HINDI TAYO MALILIGTAS SA PAGPAPAKABANAL. Maliligtas tayo once na tinaggap naten ang regalo na bigay ng Panginoon. :) Hm, pero that doesn’t mean naman na magiging ligtas na bulakbol tayo =)) Ganito kasi yan. :> Malamang pag tinanggap na naten si Jesus sa buhay naten, at ginawa siyang Panginoon. Mga gagawin naten is para sa kanya and with Him. :) Kasi ginawa naten siyang Hari eh :) Hari at Ama :) And pag ganun, kapag seek pa naten siya lalo. Siya mismo mag momold sa puso naten :) And diba sabi nila may mga tao na, hindi perfect. Pero banal. Kasi ganito yun :) Wala naman perfect eh. We all make mistakes. But let’s allow God to mold us :) We are His work in PROGESS :) Under construction tayo :D Ganung katagal na contruction? Well, lifetime yan! :) Pero diba ang saya? Mabubuhay ka karamay ang Diyos. At pag na waley ka na sa Earth, kapiling mo na ang creator mo, diba? :D :D

So. Mej hindi nako nakakapag post dito sa tumblr for monthsss =)) And I kinda need an avenue for the random things I’m feeling :)) 

This is a blog site so….here it goes!

It’s been a week since the AC Comelec released the results ng elections :D

and the result was, I lost. :) By TWO VOTES <3 :)) Honestly? I cried over it. NG SOBRAA! esp last saturday, maiwan lang ako magisa umiiyak nako :)) I felt like, yun yung time na naging ganun akong ka-depress :D Seryoso. T’was worst than any heartache, heartbreak and whatever heartblah :)) Non stop iyak whenever people would hug me and all :) (Weekend nangyari lahat ng yan)

Then came Monday! I felt like I was okay na :)) Seryoso :) I texted my friends with a “Good morning and happy monday” :) Nagkwentuhan kami ni Cams about it before the assembly and I didn’t cry na. :) So eff na eff kong masaya nako :) That was ‘till Ate Agot, the ASC president approached and hugged me. I wasn’t able to control my tears from falling. That day, I decided to stay at the other side of the SG. (I usually stayed kasi where the council people are eh) :) Ayon. During the whole assembly, I chose to look down lang. Not because I was bitter or anything. Mej, teary eyed and all lang ako nun. I can’t afford to look at anyone kasi naiiyak talaga ako :’) Then Ate Agot approached me again kasi ako mag prayer kay St. Mary Eugine :) So, I made lipat sa other side ng SG where the council people are :) That time, super nagiipon ako ng lakas ng loob para hindi ako umiyak pag sinabi ko yung prayer =)))))

After the assembly, Bibi wanted to hug me but I declined ‘cause mej ang strong na ng feeling ko na mag break down ako :)) Tas during Natsc2 time, Fi asked me anong sabi ng parents ko then that was the time na super nag break down ako :’) (I wouldn’t elaborate na xD)

That day din, I decided to go sa office ni Ms. C ‘cause she’s my mother dear sa AC <3 :) She’s my adviser sa council :D Ayon. I cried sa harap niya :)) SOBRA. Buti lang may tissue siya :) But these are some of her words that I felt were REAAAALLY SINCERE and sobrang I felt better after it:

You will always be my Rox.

I’m so proud of you.

Once an ASC, always an ASC

Wag ka mawawala ah? Run ka ulit next year! Aasahan ko yan.

You have really bloomed

No words can express <3

Before the day ended, I had a date with my Mentor, Ate Lala :) I though di nako iiyak. Pero humagulgol parin ako :)) You know what? This was my LAST iyak regarding the issue. That was one of the best convos ever :) I felt that she was feeling what I was exactly feeling :) She hugged me, SO TIGHT! She placed her own feet in my shoes <3 But in spite that, she remained firm. She told me na, hindi din niya maintindihan bakit. She knows how hurt I am. BUT! She told me not to pamper my feelings :) YES! It’s okay na umiyak. YES! It’s okay na magpaka depress. But, bangon bangon din! God has a plan. Seriously :) She even mentioned this verse na sobrang nag mark sakin. It’s found in Jeremaiah na, diba si Lord potter and tayo ang clay? :) Pag nakita niyang HINDI MAGANDA ang form naten, IBREAK niya tayo into pieces then imold niya tayo ulit :) 

So there, then cam tuesday. Nag recount and ONE VOTE nalang ang lamang :) But guess what? I didnt cry na that day :) I was OKAY NA. As in :D 

Yesterday, we had a meeting with Ms. C :) THE WHOLE COUNCIL :D It was the last meeting. We were asked ano yung pinaka maganda nameng napulot sa council. 2nd to the last ako na nagsalita kasi I felt like iiyak talaga ako :)) And that was what happened. HAHA :)) But! It was not because I lost. It came with the fact that I’d reaaaally be missing the council :) Mamimis ko magiging busy. Mamimis ko mga gm. Mamimis ko yung kinukulit cause of a task. Mamimis ko yung pinapalinis ang table :D Mamimis ko yung “Rox, asan na yung..?” :) Mamimis ko yung biglang may tatawag para i-ask. Mamimis ko mautusan. and Mamimis ko MAGSERVE :) LALO NA SA BATCH <3

Sobrang dami sakin tinuro ng experience na ito :) It was really a blessing in disguise!! Been receiving sweet and awesome tweets, fb posts, fb messaged and texts from people na super hindi ko ineexpect :) SERYOSO :) If ever mabasa niyo ito, SOBRANG THANK YOU! IT REAAAAAALLY MEANT A LOT :) Been receiving hugs sa school from batchmates na hindi ko mashado nakaka usap :’) It made me feel better :D SOBRANG PRICELESS LAHAT :) 

If there’s one thing na siguro iiyakan ko in the future? yun siguro yung.. Mamimis ko talaga yung council :) They’re the best ever. They’re family :)

Pero ito. I know na hindi dito nag stop battle ko :) I know na may magandang plan si Lord :) I know na ang pagserve is hindi magstop pag wala na “position” :) Madaming naturo sakin ang council :) SOBRAA! Pag sinabi kong passion to serve, SERYOSO YUN! :D IBA TALAGA :) And next year, kahit hindi na ako council, id still LOVE to help out <3 I guess it has been a part of my system already :)

Lord, thank you for breaking my heart. thank you for crashing it into pieces. thank you for rebuking my soul. AND THANK YOU FOR PUTTING ALL THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER :) THANKS FOR BEING THE ONE TO MEND MY BROKEN-ES :”> THANKS FOR LETTING ME SEE THE LIGHT AND THANKYOU FOR HUGGING ME TIGHT! I’m just so speechless my, God :) I know that Your works are beyond my comprehension and Your wisdom is beyond my knowledge. & honestly? now, I couldn’t imagine myself this happy if you hadn’t bless me with this awesome experience :)